It was the oddest dream. I found myself hiding along the edges of my high school’s library. Staying concealed made sense as those years were filled with the feeling of self-inferiority and witnessing other ‘unique’ students getting knocked down by words and deeds. Hiding my anxiety, I stayed as invisible as possible. There was safety in blending in.
So now, in my dream, a voice says, “Step into the light.” The center of the library is empty of bookshelves. It’s just a long, carpeted walking path bathed in full light. I recoil at the very thought and press back against the wall.
The voice repeats, “Step into the light.” At this second prompting, I just do it. I stand for a moment and then I begin walking. I’m surprised to see a guy step out from the other side and begin walking with me and before the dream finishes there are several more that joined us in the light.
Now, as odd as this dream sounds, the crazier thing is that I felt impressed to share this dream with my high school reunion page. What!? Share something like this with people I had feared? But the thought wouldn’t leave me. I knew it was a spiritual battle. I yielded and wrote a little blurb. It took about four hours of repeatedly walking away and then returning to reread it before I finally found the courage to hit the ‘send’ button.
My nerves finally settled, and I got on with my day. Here’s the post I sent:
I had a dream that I was back in the school library and realized that there was other ‘wallflowers’ standing on the fringes too. Not sure if that’s you, but hello. Not everyone made social ripples, but we managed to survive our teen years together, so you were a part of my journey. I’ve enjoyed seeing friends connect here from wherever they’ve landed in life.
I’m stepping from the shadows to thank you for the encouragement, for sharing your strengths and for the acceptance I see here. Blessings all.
I was so surprised when others began to share some very hard school situations. They were able to be edified and thanked for sharing their difficult stories. My post received over 100 ‘likes’ and dozens of comments. A few people even connected with me on Facebook. I realized that not everyone had made me feel inferior.
I think I had tried so hard to forget those days that it blocked the opportunity to heal. It had led to hidden unforgiveness in my heart. By releasing that dream publicly (in a small way) I was able to let that pain go. Somehow by sharing the fact that we had gotten through a tough season together it opened up a venue for other ‘wallflowers’ to have a voice.
It’s been almost three years since that dream, and I’m still uncomfortable ‘walking in the light,’ but the healing here is so worth it.
Thanks for listening. Blessings, friend.
1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another…
#WalkingInTheLight #LibraryDream #FacingFear #SharingPainHeals