• Owning the Gray

    What a difference ten months can make. I decided late in 2020 to start letting my hair go natural. I lightened my brown tones each time so it wouldn’t be such a harsh change. But for those who weren’t around for the process and compared my appearance to the photo on the back of my book, I’d hear, “Wow, I wouldn’t have recognized you.”

    So, I had a new photo taken for the back of Book 2 (due out this summer).  I’m amazed at how much I’ve aged in the past year. Yeah, I know, gray hair means I’ve lived and apparently, I now have wisdom. Quite a bit of it actually!

    But when I see the first photo, I recognize that I was in a state of grieving, almost a numbness. My husband and his beautiful momma had passed within a few months of each other, and I made a decision to just press on. This photo was me shouting to the heavens that I was going to complete what I had started, the book I had begun ten years earlier. I stood on the shoreline of the river we had both loved, in an effort to let my husband know I was ‘letting the baby fly.’ (a reference to my continuing to stall on moving forward with my novel)

    Now, months after its release, I face new challenges without the numbness of that initial grief. I don’t have my handy computer tech to bounce things off of. No wisdom on what computer applications to add or to avoid on my webpage. I can personally attest that the adage is true, you don’t truly appreciate all the ways someone is a blessing until they’re no longer there.

    In sharing this journey, I know it will help many get through their own season of grief. Some days I can focus on doing the next thing, and on others I simply crawl back into bed for a nap. Honestly, it helps.

    So today, I wonder about the ‘wiser looking Debbie’.  (I refuse to call myself old- yet!) Learning to do things alone again. Changing the wording of ‘we’ to ‘I or me’. Adjusting your eating, sleeping, and working habits, it all takes time. Just like any other season of life there are trials and errors. Over it all, I try to give myself grace. I’m heading gently into this new year. I wish you all wisdom to fully show your love to those dear to yourself, and the grace to start over gently when necessary.

    Blessings always,

    ~ Debbie G

    #Grief #ForwardJourney #GivingGrace #GoingGray

    https://booklocker.com/12575

  • Rise Up, Clay Pots!

     

    Unlike a cookie cutter press, consider that we are like clay being molded. Our circumstances and relationships help form the shape that we become.

    We have a dent here when a friendship ends badly. Or a dig mark there when someone uses harsh words to condemn us. We may even have great gouges when a life partner is removed. We walk around cracked and damaged, each unique yet affected by the world around us. We cannot see ourselves as other’s do. The barometer of our experiences and pain colors our vision.

    How are we called artwork? We don’t often think of ourselves as being works of art. After all, who would want someone’s cast off? Someone who’s done what we’ve done or someone as sullied as we are? 

    Perhaps we’ve come to think that we must fit into a specific mold to be considered ‘good’ or ‘valuable’. Where would you place yourself on a scale compared to a highly paid professional or a successful businessperson? Why would we think lower? Probably because society has a step ladder and uses finances as its gauge. It’s as if owning things and having a large bank account places people on a higher rung. So, we work to get ahead… um, ahead of who? Ahead of what?

    No wonder our self-image is askew.

    Back to the clay. If I put myself in the category of a walking lump with a huge hole from a past broken relationship, I begin to question myself. What did I do to deserve this? Why wasn’t I enough? Natural questions, but anytime I’m involved so is the potential of my sin nature. No one is perfect, not one. Certainly not me. So, my new question instead is: now what, God? 

    And God, being the Brilliant Potter that he is, takes me in his loving hands and reshapes me. He covers the edge of my gaping wound by moving some of my clay and slowly I realize that I’m now more in the shape of a bowl. My opening is at the top and I can receive whatever blessing he wants to rain down on me. 

    But not everyone is a bowl. No. In his creativeness, he transforms some into useful cups, pitchers, vases, and beautiful decorative pots. His creativity is endless. I only know that he has a purpose for each and every lump of clay he forms. 

    So even if the world looks at you and sees a walking saltshaker, know that you can be the seasoning God uses to add flavor to the lives of others. And instead of using the world’s ladder to judge your saltshaker status, imagine all the people who could be sitting around the table in heaven, because you’ve sprinkled their lives here with truth. 

    So, rise up clay pots, walk in love, and trust that the painful markings this world gives can be used by the Master Potter for much greater things.

    Blessings my friend,

    Debbie G

    Suggested Readings: Jeremiah 18:4, 17:9, Isaiah 64:8

  • Sunrise to Sunset

    The pink of morning

    Highlights of the late day’s sunshine on my trees kicked me into high gear. Quickly, I grabbed my camera. I started my day with some sunrise pictures now it’s time for some evening ones.
    As I jog down my stairs and out the door, I realize that I will be standing in last of this day’s rays, and when I see the stump of a tree in my front lawn, I am reminded that these rays will never touch my husband again.
    Grief slips in unannounced, and I battle back tears as I snap the first photo. The red tones were already deeper than I anticipated. I focus on getting the right foreground for the next set of shots.
    Then it’s as if a voice whispers, ‘Remember this morning’s sunrise?’
    I pause and recall the hint of pink I caught on the topside of a cloud through a break in the gray expanse.
    Yes, my mind answers in response to the prompt. There was no glorious burst of color, but I did catch the wisp of pink.

    Right now, in my evening sky, the sun is shining above the clouds. And not everyone has gray skies tonight. Anyone in an airplane can attest to the beauty of breaking through a dark sky into the glory of the sunshine above. It’s breathtaking.

    I continue to walk and snap photos, almost on autopilot, capturing the beauty of my given sphere. Tears seem to ease and then a great sob of sadness again washes over me. He was a good man who loved me. Yes, I am thankful for the gift he was. I remind myself of these truths and am grateful that one of the gifts he gave me was the camera I was holding. I grip it tighter. It somehow reminds me constantly of his love.

    Another internal whisper and I am halted by the thought that although my husband will not stand in the shadow of the sunshine here on earth, he is currently enjoying the full light of heaven’s glory. Oh, the thought to never have to face any kind of shadow ever again is pure bliss.

    The diversion of capturing tonight’s sunset has worked its magic. From morning to sunset sky, I am not alone. My internal Comforter walks with me reminding me of these truths. I discover that my heart is more at peace each time I let myself grieve a bit. Gratefulness and sadness have become my friends as I journey to wholeness. And the light above guides me on the path ahead.

    Peace and blessings, my friend. You are not alone.

    The glory of sunset.

    Feel free to drop me a line.

    Debbie G

    #sunrisetosunset #notalone #notSidelinedbyGrief #JourneytoWholeness

  • Silent Years

    You’ve hit a rough patch before, right? You’ve run out of options. You turn your eyes to God and are surprised that His eyes are already on you. Opening His word, you ask for wisdom; and he promises to give it.

    What power is it that takes a written phrase and speaks to our hearts? We read this powerful scripture aloud and somehow the atmosphere hears his words. With our voice, we are aligning ourselves with HIM; with his kingdom and his power. He says, “Ask me for My answer.” So, we do.

    Now we listen and await his response. Sometimes the answer is an overwhelming, in your face, open door, and other times it means waiting in silence for years as he moves things into position for the perfect answer to our request. And if that’s you. If you are in year three and are still waiting, keep in the Word!  Keep washing away the impurities we’ve picked up from those around us. Stay focused on walking rightly and when that door opens, we’re going to fall down in worship, overwhelmed that the Creator of the Universe thought so much of little ol’ us to give such a wonderful gift.
    El Roi translates into ‘the God who sees.’ He sees you. He desires you to know him more, and he’s never too busy to respond to a heart that’s seeking him.

    The deepest honor we can receive is the honor God gave to young Joseph. First, He gave him the dream. Then came years of silence as he was rejected by brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused and thrown into prison. We don’t have access to Joseph’s thoughts or how he struggled with comprehending how his dream would ever come to pass, but in our humanness, we can imagine that he did indeed struggle.

    Then our hearts soar as he is released from prison. And when we read that Joseph rose to become the second highest man in the kingdom let us not make light of the silent years. The young boy matured into adulthood and continued to walk righteously even when he was alone in a foreign land. God was aligning the world and used these hardships to move Joseph into position for Joseph’s dream to come to pass.
    So, if God is trusting you in a time of waiting, be encouraged. His silence was an answer to that faithful young man, and it can be shouting that he’s working things out for you too.
    Blessings,

    Debbie G

    Suggested reading: 

    Washing by the water of the word.  Ephesians 5:26                                                                                                                                                                        El Roi. Genesis 16:13                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Joseph’s story. Genesis 37-41

    #Provision4theVision, #SilentYears, #Favor4theRighteous

  • Ordinary Beauty

    As the creator of the universe, God could have presented Himself to the world in any way He wanted. We are witnesses to His originality and love for beauty in the mere panorama of the sphere we occupy. As king over heaven and earth, He could have come as regal as any; after all He is called the King of kings. Imagine the pomp and celebration that would have ensued had He suddenly appeared with His host of angels. And yet when we read about His humble beginnings in a barn, and that He had nothing to draw us to Him in the natural sense, now any man can identify with Him.

    Christ chose to come in this nondescript way so that we couldn’t say, “Oh well, I’m nothing like Jesus.” Because honestly, we’re all like Him in our humanness. We’re just common beings living in a fallen world, and sometimes we’re kicked by the very people we hold close to our hearts.

    We’re born with a wrinkly face that only a momma could love, oh but the heart. It’s the overflow of the heart that shows the true character of a man. And we can see by His friend’s testimonies that Jesus loved. He loved His enemies. He loved His family that tried to stop His ministry. And He loved His friends that scattered and left Him alone in His hour of need. He even reinstated them after His resurrection. And He’s still loving today.

    So, draw near. Confess your frustrations to the One who knows how hard this season of life can be. To the One who endured everything that this world threw at Him. To the One who defeated death so that you and I could live.

    Tis true, common people who are hard pressed are not crushed. We may be struck down, but we’re not defeated. We rise. Like Christ, we learn to love those who hurt us. We forgive as He forgave. We know that they don’t know what they are doing. We also know what we need to do. We’re learning to walk out the Great Commission. Every day introducing people to the love of Christ that radiates from within us. And perhaps, just maybe they will get a glimpse of Him in our actions, in our words, in the love in our eyes. And oh- what a glorious thought this is… perhaps they too will fall in love with the Lover of their souls.

    Let it be so, Lord Jesus. Let it be so.

    Blessings. ~Debbie

    Isaiah 53:2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

    Suggested reading: Reading: 2 Corinthians 4:8-12

  • Vagabond Writer

    A wanderer.
    Room to room, notes on my phone, sending myself emails. My brain overflowing with impressions, parallels, searching for wisdom beyond myself. Surprised to discover new truths. Age old adages come alive in the light of this day. Heavenly whispers that mark out a new path.

    Highlights of light on the treetops – the birds swoop between them without care.
    A squirrel slips down a trunk- all that remains is a bouncing twig as he makes an acrobatic leap to a branch on the other side of the ravine.

    I sit observing the changes in the defused light as the sun climbs in the sky.

    Holy Spirit is opening a way for me. Constantly changing, yet always forward.

    ~Debbie G

  • The Strength of the Pine

    The thin pine swayed and bent in the violent wind gusts pushing her against cluster of fir trees behind her. She was fully exposed to all the elements now that her diseased southern neighbor had been removed months prior. She looked so weak and alone. I thought she might snap from the pressure. I watched spellbound, scarcely breathing, until she bounced back aright after each harsh blow. On one side her branches were stunted from their years in the shadow her neighbor had cast. Now, off-balance and without protection her handicap evident as she tipped.

    Suddenly, I realized why I was so concerned about this tree’s ability to survive through this raging storm; we were fighting similar battles. I too had lost my front man, my covering. The death of my husband a few weeks prior, and the challenges of this past week had me leaning heavily on my spiritual family.

    I found myself staring out my window, rooting for her, as she bobbed back and forth throughout the day. So grateful for the strength of those behind her preventing her from a fall. I was sure those trees were the primary reason she didn’t break. What a relief it was when the wind finally eased to see that she was still standing.

    As I closed my shades for the night I thought ahead to the coming spring. Surely sunlight would help her stunted side to grow even again, giving her better balance. Like me, she needed to lean a bit now, but would soon grow strong again. Perhaps even someday becoming a sturdy buffer for those who were now supporting her.

    Storms are meant to challenge us, to grow us, in new directions. This tree’s struggle brought an awareness of just how important support people are in one’s hour of need. I’m sure if the tree could speak, she’d add her thanks to her fellow fir trees for the strength of their entwined roots; and an encouragement for people everywhere to rise up and stretch out to the hurt and needy with hands of love.

    A side note: I’m so glad to be back in my writing chair.

    Blessings always, my friend.

    Debbie

     2 Corinthians 1:3-4

  • Cusp of Change

    Sometimes it’s desire that brings change, and sometimes it’s born of necessity.

    Seasons change and boy, over the winter my body did too! I had to get back to working out. I overheard an older woman at the health club tell a friend she hadn’t exercised in years. Watching her copy the stretches of the young instructor, I could just imagine how she’d feel later. A beginner trying to keep up with this trained mass of muscle is in for a world of hurt tomorrow. The key is in taking baby steps. That trainer didn’t get toned overnight. It took slow, daily growth. And that’s the key to staying healthy and fit. Start slow, keep building, and when you reach your goal maintain it.

    Building internal qualities takes time and practice too. Today I’m focusing on my inner spirit. I’m taking a few minutes to read a short devotional and some scripture. Like regular exercise, I plan to increase my quiet time with the goal of gradually reaching an hour a day. I need to be prepared to push back against busyness. To hold firmly the value of time management. To sit up and recognize a holy nudge. And to run the race especially marked out for me.

    I may not ever become a super athlete, but I can be a healthier one. I have a firm foundation. Watching my words, my thoughts, and actions are great building blocks. So it’s essential that I know what the Word says so I can battle better.

    Whether you’re facing a physical, emotional, or a spiritual challenge, meditation on scripture helps us dive deep and lets truth ripple forth. Basking in His light warms our spirit and prepares us for flight. And like the butterfly enjoying nectar we can taste and see that His words are sweet for the soul.

    Are you facing a challenge today? Have you overcome one? If so, please consider sharing it in the comments. You never know whose life your story will inspire. And we’d love to join you in prayer. After all, if faith comes from hearing the Word, I believe we can find hope that way too!

    Wishing you strength in the journey.   Blessings, Debbie

     

    #Change #Growth #Strong #Health #Hope #inspiration #Time Management #Challenge

  • Simplicity in Stillness

    I love this time of the year. Winter has exited. Spring has sprung and a vast array of colors dot the landscape. And oh, so many fragrances. So many sounds. Bees buzzing, birding chittering, and children out of doors squealing. Yes indeed, this is a most favored season.

    I’ve spent the last few weeks cleaning out winter’s remnants in preparation for all that summer offers. Boating, swimming, picnics, walking in the park, nature hikes, and camping. For me, being out of doors is invigorating. Contrasting blue sky against chalky cloud formations. Gentle breezes. Nature sounds, usually muted by the insulating cocoon of busyness. Time to quietly rest in the sun’s blessed rays streaking through the trees as a small animal pauses in your presence.

    It’s as if by focusing on beauty, on the sounds of earth, that somehow pressing concerns are erased. That being simply present and aware is a gift that this day offers. Being grateful for the simplicity of shade. For the gentle refreshing rain. For the life cycle of the winged creatures.  Remarkably, appreciation helps wash away the cobwebs of accumulated worry. And when we move from our place of observation our hearts are so much lighter.

    The days ahead are filled with possibilities, uncertainty, and hope. Isn’t stillness a perfect way to prepare for a season budding with change? Peace for this moment. Grace for this day. Hope for tomorrow.

    Wishing you an excellent quietness today.

    Blessings,

    Debbie

    Psalm 46:10

  • Heart Flutters

    I love reading cozy mysteries with a little clean romance thrown in. I mean, the term ‘heart flutters’ is something I can relate to. It’s the feeling similar to the movement of a butterfly on your finger. A soft motion that may cause you to catch your breath. I love it. There’s a similar term in the medical journals called palpitations or in layman’s terms a flutter. It can be a bit unsettling to notice that your heart is doing something different. With me, it also caused the perception of a shortness of breath.

    The good news is that my heart is fine, my lungs are clear, and my blood levels reveal no problem. Later today I get to wear a 24 hour monitor to see if they can catch these palpitations, seeking to discover if there is an underlying issue.

    I am amazed that there is a device that can hug you and monitor every heartbeat. One that can detect a need for further medical care. Technology has surpassed my ability to understand much of how it works, but I appreciate the brilliant minds that have created this tool. I’m sure it has saved many lives.

    Like a romance novel, don’t we all long for someone to pull us close? One who can sense when we aren’t okay?  Someone to help discern a problem?

    I’m so glad there’s Someone who’s known me forever, who holds me close on my hardest days, and points the path to peace. I trust in my faith journey, and His plan for my life even when  facing hardship. I run to His safe arms and He holds me close to His heart.

    Perhaps my internal ‘butterflies’ are just me, drying my wings, and preparing for flight. All I know is that there is a breeze, and sweet nectar ahead. Trusting that He will carry me exactly where I need to go.

    How’s your faith journey, my friend? Praying for you in your challenges.

    Blessings,

    Debbie

    Isaiah 40:11 He tends the flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

  • Breaking into May

    It’s May! How did that happen? There are so many things I didn’t get to do last year that I’ve been busy trying to cram them all into the last few weeks lest the world is tipped on its axis again.

    Have I enjoyed a soft ice cream cone? You bet!  Barbequed on the grill? Yup, a couple of times.  Eaten a meal on the patio? Of course. I cleaned  the yard from the dregs of winter weeks ago. And I have even made reservations for a  summer family gathering. (Deep sigh.)

    There’s something I’ve noticed, and perhaps you have too. People seem to be making an extra effort to connect. My elderly neighbor has stopped over to visit several times this week. Bumping into a friend at a store led to a half hour delay in my schedule as we caught up with one another. Plus I’ve had several text messages, and two phone calls this week from people I haven’t spoken to in months. It is so revitalizing to connect with those you care deeply about.

    My roses haven’t bloomed yet, but some of my other flowers have, and I guess this is a reminder to take a break. Enjoy the beauty around you. Call a long-time friend. Visit a neighbor. Swing in a hammock. Listen to the bird’s song or steal away and experience a sunrise. Let’s appreciate the last days of spring  while we can. You know, if May is here already that September is just around the corner. The advantage of slowing our pace today is that it can bring us  memories to enjoy tomorrow. 

    I found a bird’s nest. How was your day?

    Blessings! Debbie

  • Fits and Starts

    The heaviness of winter has melted into a glorious early spring. The birds sing of their love as nests are woven. And I have shed my winter wear to don lighter, more cheerful fabric in solidarity with my feathered friends to announce, “Yes, SPRING is here!”

    Fragrant, colorful blooms broadcast festivities and all manner of flying insects join in carnival games. The lawn is cleared of fallen debris in preparation for the mower’s maiden tour around the property. Much like a birthday party, anticipation has now exploded in a crescendo of sun, heat and busy revelry.

    Today I’ve opened my back door several times to shoo away a pair of birds. It seems atop a light fixture positioned under our eaves is the perfect place for nesting robins. Perfect for them, alas is not perfect for all. This door is used frequently throughout the day, and a momma robin with hatchlings would be disturbed very often. So I dutifully remove the gathered straw and twigs and place an aluminum foil ball there as a deterrent. She has removed it three times today. Eventually she will decide another spot is better suited, and we’ll both be happier.

    My writing has suffered much this winter. Fits and starts. Set-backs with much, much journaling. Indeed I, like my warbling minstrels, needed winter’s respite to regroup. To face harsh trials. To prioritize and to re-family after months apart.

    In transitioning into this new season, I too must be aware of closed doors and be prepared to seek another solution. Perhaps the reason something isn’t working is because it’s not a good answer. It may be that a safer and wiser choice is already on the horizon and I haven’t seen it because my heart is set on something else. Like this winged pair I must be open to changing my plan. So today, I’ll journal my thoughts here and not hide them away in my notebook.

    Is there something that is holding you back? Take a look around, perhaps the answer is waiting in the wings. 


    Happy Spring!
    Debbie